Monday, May 2, 2011
So.. it's been a while. I've been working at "the barn" (aka Pottery Barn) and trying to take further steps to a semi-permanent life here. Sometimes I get so frustrated knowing the I could be doing something worthwhile, and instead I'm selling furniture. Which, I suppose I need to just stop and be thankful that I have a job.
I just feel like I'm forgetting my talents and loosing my abilities. I don't remember the last time I interviewed someone, had a deadline, designed a layout or edited something... and I miss it. I miss the thrill of being under pressure, the joy of making a layout so aesthetically pleasing, the love of my red editing pen. I need these things. I need to remember how it felt boarding the plane for the first time to Africa. The smells in the market in Thailand. The lust I had for adventure and discovery. I feel so contained sometimes. I miss my wanderlust.
I feel like these things were who I was, and now I'm.. well, LA. I feel like it's harder for me to just jump over to Mozambique for a month and hang out in Quillamine when I have to work to survive. I guess what I'm saying is the move to LA was exciting and a step into adulthood, but I don't want it to mean the end of me doing what I love. Helping people. Traveling. Being my creative and amazing self.
This city can make you loose sight of things and I won't let it happen to me. Boom.